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EULOGY FOR SISTER VALERIA
Sister Benita DeMatteis, OSB, Prioress

“We even rejoice in our afflictions! We know that affliction produces perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and character, hope. And such a hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts.” Romans

When death comes knocking at our door, touching our lives personally, it is always a sacred time and an occasion to come together in prayer and one that calls us as a group to lift that person up to the heart of God. The most beautiful memorial we can give to those we love is not one made of stone but is a living memory that is nourished by prayer, gratitude and ever-deepening affection.

As we grow older and face new demands on our bodies—illnesses, limited mobility, loss of vision and hearing—it is easy to focus on only the changes to our physical bodies, and forget about the transformation our spiritual selves are going through. The power of spirit helps us overcome the obstacles of aging, adds meaning to our everyday life, and helps us attain both our material and spiritual goals. Sr. Valeria knew that her spiritual body was who she really was. That she would pass through the door of death with her eyes wide open and all her faculties intact. She radiated light and love. Her physical deficiencies were pierced through with the light of her spirit. She opened her heart and mind to the presence of the true God.

For a while she expressed a great fear of dying. But little by little she accepted her aging as a sign of a better life to come. She realized that her death was a joyful homecoming uniting her with her loved ones who preceded her in death.

All of her life she was able to open her mind to the positive possibilities for her life and she was grateful for the gifts present in the difficulties she faced. She felt that God’s smile was always with her and she shared the smile of God with others. She was open to the spiritual lessons nature had to teach her even if she could no longer see them. She learned to accept aging as a natural preparation for the next step in her journey. She participated in life as fully as possible.

Sister Valeria taught and served as principal for 52 years. As a teacher, she embraced her profession even in her personal relationship with all her children. She not only taught about school, but most importantly, she taught about life and love. To quote sister: “I always enjoyed teaching—especially math.”

In her 70’s and 80’s it was hard to keep up with Sister Valeria. She volunteered four days a week at the Benedictine Senior Center. She answered phones, ran the copy machine, prepared informational packets, and became computer literate to type material for the center’s newsletter. On Wednesdays, her day off, she hopped the senior citizen bus to go shopping, to doctor appointment and anything else that sounded interesting. She loved to be with people and the people loved her. She even tried new ventures. One day when the people went bowling she said: “I’d like to try that.” They handed her a ball and bowling became a regular venture for her. She enjoyed the richness of life in the present moment.

In her 90’s sister was still a very determined woman. She wanted to remain as independent as possible but was always very gracious for any assistance extended to her.
Even though it became very difficult for sister to see the words on the paper and many times she did not have the right place, daily you would find Sr. Valeria at community prayer and as she prayed a sacred place opened around her. What an example she was to all of us.

Sister was a respected, balanced woman who was able to clap with both hands in celebration, even though she was not able to hear or see. It takes a full life, a balanced life, to sound the noise of celebration. Hands that worked, loved, prayed, played, gave, rested—hands like that can also clap joyfully.

In a few short days, we witnessed how sister’s health had deteriorated. But her spirit was always there. The doctor informed us that there was nothing more THEY could do for sister at the hospital. What WE could do was to bring her home and make her as comfortable as possible during the last few days of her life. We were happy because we were spending it together with her.

On her last night with us, sisters spent time praying with her and for her. She found peace at last with her Creator. She built a strong spiritual foundation that lead her through the door of death to her God.

“To Those I Love And To Those Who Love Me”
When I am gone,
Release me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears;
Be happy we had so many years.
I give you my love,
You can only guess how much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love
You have shown me;
But now it’s time I travel alone.
So grieve a while for me,
If grieve you must.
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won’t be far away for life goes on.
So if you need me,
Call me and I will be near.
And if you listen with your heart,
You’ll hear
All my love around you,
Soft and clear.
And when you must come this way along,
I’ll greet you with a Smile,
And “Welcome Home”.

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